With the impending re-release of both Titanic (1997) and Beauty and the Beast (1991) in 3D, I decided I am fed up. Now, I confess to taking a 3D class in college (the class was actually Widescreen, 3D and Stereophonic sound). And I also confess that I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to see the 3D version of Alfred Hitchcock’s Dial “M” for Murder, that was filmed and never released. If anyone could do 3D like a master, it would ONLY be the Master of Suspense. But, I am tired of every movie and its mother being filmed in 3D, whether it is warranted or not. And RE-RELEASING already shot films just to capitalize on the 3D bandwagon is THE LAST STRAW. Where will it end, I thought.

So, I put together a list of other “sensible” (sarcasm intended) 3D re-releases. If any of these come out in cinemas, I’m moving to Mongolia and living in among the yak herders in a nice yurt!

The African Queen
All of those mosquitoes. All of that unbridled WWII passion.

All The President’s Men
All of that typing.

Amadeus
All of that piano playing.

Babe
Little pig. Sheep. Ducks. Dogs. Need I say more.

Bridge on the River Kwai
Madness. MADNESS.

Caligula
It can only improve it, right?

Chariots of Fire
Running, running, running.

Citizen Kane
Rosebud. IN 3D!!!!!!!!!

Fargo
Marge’s belly comin’ at you like never before.

Field of Dreams
The corn. The ghosts. Go the distance.

Forrest Gump
Run, Forrest, run!

Gone with the Wind
Frankly, my dear, I would love to see Tara in 3D.

The Graduate
One word: plastics.

The Hustler
All those pool balls. All those cue sticks.

It’s a Wonderful Life
3D could only improve Mr. Potter’s disposition.

Last Tango in Paris
Butter.

The Last Temptation of Christ
Would only enhance the controversy.

The Lost Weekend
Would make it easier to find those hidden bottles.

The Maltese Falcon
The stuff that dreams are made of.

Message in a Bottle
See above @ The Lost Weekend.

No Country for Old Men
The guns and the oxygen tank alone. Not to mention the haircut.

No Way Out (1987)
And I thought that limo ride couldn’t get any better.

Oceans’ 11 (2001)
Eye candy comin’ at you!

The Odd Couple
Felix wants 3D. Oscar hates it.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
Nurse Ratched softer, more three-dimensional side.

Raging Bull
Pow, right in the kisser.

Roxanne
The Nose.

Silence of the Lambs
Do I really need to elaborate here?

Singin’ in the Rain
All of those raindrop. So lifelike.

Some Like It Hot
You should see the gams on Curtis and Lemmon.

The Sting
3D would just make the cool cooler.

Tootsie
You should see the gams on Hoffman.

Unforgiven
William Mony killed women, children and 2D.

(P.S. I hesitated posting this since it’s so snarky, but take it for what it is…a movie lover’s plea for Hollywood to wake up and start creating new material and even new technology!)

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